I’m about to turn 30 soon, and I can’t help looking around and feeling a little bit left behind.
There are batch mates having babies, buying real estate, investing in stocks, starting businesses, and here’s little old me, the one everyone expected to do a little bit better, to be more ahead than everybody else I grew up with.
I’m not going hungry or still stuck at home or anything, it’s just that I get left feeling incredibly unfulfilled whenever I think about where I’m at in life.
I suppose I should wean myself off of comparing my life to everyone else’s, especially since the shiny, glittering, I’m-the-star-of-the-show posts I see on social media are but a tiny part of their lives magnified. But it’s more than that.
I don’t need to base it on social media how low I’ve been feeling; it’s something that I am just acutely aware of and am torturing myself with.
For a bit of context, I was that kid that sat in the front in class, straight A’s, advanced classes…but I got stuck somewhere at one point. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not just moping about it and doing nothing to change, but it just seems to me like whenever I take two steps forward, I get shoved five steps back.
It’s frustrating for sure, especially since I grew up conditioned to be the one to come out the winner of every damn thing.
The I’m-the-winner mindset has taken definitely taken a toll on me, and it’s been a rude awakening learning that in the great big scheme of things, I’m a little bit above mediocre, at best.
I’m not entirely sure where exactly I’m going with this, but incase there’s someone out there who is going to stumble across this rambling, poorly constructed entry, I just hope you know that you’re not alone, since aside from unfulfillment, to me the next worst thing to feel is that I’m alone.
I won’t be hypocritical and tell you not to worry, but I wouldn’t encourage going into a spiral either.
Wherever you are and whatever you’re preoccupied with at the moment, I want you to know we’re in the same boat. Despite what we’re feeling, I still have great hope we can do something about it eventually and prosper forward.