Just in case you need reminding: Finding another woman’s beauty doesn’t diminish your own.
The other day, I had a conversation with an acquaintance while I was at my local coffee shop.
We saw each other and decided to sit together for awhile, just people watch and small talk while we nurse our drinks.
She had been a funny one to be with, I remember, trying to figure out where we had met exactly. And then I remembered why I didn’t want to be in her company after that anymore.
We both work as content writers for a small publishing company, and it was at an advertiser’s event that we crossed paths. Everyone that night was dressed to the nines, because the theme was formal.
We were introduced early on and hit it off, talking about the event, then about our bosses, and then down to what the attendees were wearing.
‘She looks like a glamorous hotdog,’ she whispered to me, giggling, referring to a woman dressed in red.
‘Whoah, someone call the girl scouts!’ she snarked again, this time at a woman dressed in a muted green.
It was funny at first, sure, but it was only when I got home that I realized I wasn’t the only one she sat with that night, and for all I know, I could have been a target of one of her tasteless remarks.
I felt shameful for laughing in the first place, knowing deep down those women looked great and we had all put effort into our appearance for that big event.
I decided she was pretty toxic company to be around with for the long haul, and deigned to contact her since.
But at that café not too long ago, she was still the same old; making not very nice comments about the women we saw. She seemed to not have much comment about men, but besides that, she had a lot to say about her fellow ladies.
So I asked her: ‘Do you never have anything nice to say?’
I saw that it probably caught her off guard, so of course, she resorted to the ‘Oh, it’s all just a joke, you know. I don’t really mean it.’
Regardless of whether she meant it or not, she was voicing these unpleasant thoughts about women who paid her no mind and done her no harm.
I told her, “You know, just because you’re probably insecure about yourself doesn’t mean you have to say something unpleasant about other women to make yourself feel better.”
She looked about ready to get offended.
“Listen, someone thinks you’re absolutely gorgeous in your own brilliant way. Just because you think you don’t measure up to another woman, who is gorgeous too in her own brilliant way, doesn’t mean you aren’t gorgeous and brilliant too. Cut that negative shit and see how much more attractive you become, if that’s what’s eating at you.”
I said that to her in the most level way I could, took my coffee and off I went.
I hope you remind yourself of your own gorgeousness and brilliance everyday, and how it isn’t diminished by the beauty and brilliance of another.