I am a woman over 40, trying to find love again.
*This letter was sent in confidence. Names are changed to protect privacy.
Hello to all the young readers, and everyone else my age who might be in the same boat, or is just looking for something juicy to read.
But mostly, this is for the 40 and above divorcee set who, after ensuring the kids are all set to go off to college and test their independence, are left alone in a quite empty home, practically hearing the wind pass through the walls.
A tad over dramatic, but what I’m getting at is that I’m currently that woman.
Three kids, with the youngest just starting out junior high, and of course they have a life outside of school, which often doesn’t include me. Yes, I have friends and a job, and my ex-husband still does a wonderful job of co-parenting with me and providing the bulk of our financial needs, mostly for the kids’ schooling.
But mama is still just human, and to be human means I feel lonely sometimes. A lot of the women in my age group or older that I’ve talked about this with try to hush me sometimes, saying that the best of times have gone, at least in what is acceptable appearance-wise in the dating scene. But my ex has a string of girlfriends he dates around with (all younger, I admit), so I can’t help to think it’s unfair that he still gets to put himself out there while I’m supposed to relegate to drab mom status.
I look in the mirror and sure, it’s not 20-year old tight in places, but I take care of myself, you know what I mean?
I’ve been looking up dating sites, and having my older, more understanding kids navigate me through what’s less shady, or warn me if I’m being ‘catfished’, or if the prospect is going to turn out gross. The youngest one understandably is all cringes and ‘Eeews!’ but bless his preteen heart at least he tries to see it from my point of view. It’s important to communicate with your kids about what you’re trying to do, especially if they’re very young. You don’t want them to get the wrong idea like my youngest had at the start; who nearly bawled questioning me if they ‘weren’t good enough’ for me as companions.
But anyway, this letter is mostly something that I hope women in the same situation can look back on after they, well; we, finally step out of what we’ve gotten used to and explore what’s out there for us, at least where romance is concerned.
The world is our oyster, ladies.