To New Moms: Our Kids Won’t Always Turn Out Like Us

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For new moms, it’s fun to imagine how your child will participate in all the things you love and find fun to do; and to be honest, most of us are probably hoping for exact mini-me’s not just in appearance, but in personality too.

A PopSugar letter sender, who at the time of her letter was a first time mom to a little boy, found out that even if they came from you, your kid isn’t exactly you.

“You see, growing up, I was that person who was the first to try everything and had no fear about other people’s judgments. I was the first person in my freshman class to raise their hand for the pep rally pie-eating contest. I tried out for every musical even though I had a horrible singing voice. Long story short, I can talk to a wall whether the wall likes it or not,” she wrote.

Her little boy however, would prefer to be at the sidelines of children’s parties instead of being the kid front at center at parlor games, and in one incident; they both ended up in tears at an audition callback the little boy didn’t even want in the first place.

“We both ended up crying on that busy street in Manhattan, mainly because I couldn’t believe I made my poor son go through that audition. I hated that he was crying because I made him feel bad, and, oh, because I yelled at him in a waiting room full of strangers. That was a low point for me,” she wrote.

Thankfully, momma realized that if she wanted to avoid being the star reason for her child going into therapy, it was best to accept he just wasn’t going to be like her in the personality department.

“Where did I get this narrative that, because I bore my son, he should be like me? So, I started looking at him differently,” she said.

Instead of getting frustrated when he wouldn’t go down the “big kid” slide, she instead saw how he cheered for his friends who whipped down it.  Instead of getting angry when he hung back from a birthday party dance circle, she saw how he enjoyed observing and paying close attention to what the entertainer was saying.

“He has so much kindness and empathy toward other kids and adults. I’ve learned he’s full of so much self-assurance that he doesn’t need to be the center of attention or the kid that’s first to start the dance party. He doesn’t want to be. That’s not who he is, and he’s more than happy to let his buddies take the lead. He has a quiet confidence that speaks loudly, and I genuinely find myself learning how to act in certain situations from him,” she wrote.

Aah, if only we are all as lucky!

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