Sometimes mommy-shaming comes from the people who know what it’s like to be mommy-shamed.
Amber Fillerup Clark, also known as the Barefoot Blonde, built her following by selling $195/set hair extensions and being an all-around beauty and lifestyle guru.
But the attention started to really build up when motherhood came into play: she regularly posts amazing pictures of her family in various exotic destinations, with the cutest wardrobes, and the best sets, but she insists it’s all candid.
Cosmopolitan spoke with Instagram supermom about her family, her business, and why she’s a prime target for mommy-shamers.
People are really harsh on moms. Everyone has their own personal parenting styles, and I’ve learned moms have a really hard time accepting other people’s parenting styles,” she said. “For instance, Chauncy, our dog, wasn’t in photos for a few weeks, so people were like, “Did you guys get rid of him?” There was all this gossip about what happened to the dog. They assume so much, and they only see tiny, tiny glimpses into our life, and if they don’t see us doing something, they assume as parents we’re not doing it.”
She adds that people should remember that the content she puts out are only tiny pieces of their famiy’s time that they letting us get a glimpse of. Precisely just that, a glimpse.
“I remember once I did an Insta Story where I was showing Rosie eating because she was shoveling food into her face, and I wasn’t saying anything to her, and I was getting all these comments like, “You need to be talking to your daughter more. She needs to hear her mom talking.” I was like, “That was 10 seconds in an Insta Story, and because you didn’t hear me talking in 10 seconds, you assume I’m not [talking]the entire day?””
Although social media has provided a great platform for her over the years, Clark has taken it upon herself to keep some things about her life in private.
“I’ve definitely scaled back on sharing personal details about the kids on the blog,” she said. “I don’t really do vlogs as much anymore for that reason. We still vlog all the time, but we keep them as our own little personal journals for us to watch, and we don’t publish them on our YouTube. “
She added, “It did for a moment feel like, ‘OK, this is like a little too much sharing,’ and I’ve learned to value more privacy, especially when it comes to the family.”
She admits though that she feels “weird” if she doesn’t at least include her kids once or twice in her blog or social media.
“My kids are such a big part of my life, so it feels weird to do all these outfit posts but not talk about that aspect of my life when they’re with me every single day. But I don’t want to do any more vlogs with [the kids]in them. There was no reason for it.”
And if Instagram ever becomes obsolete someday, the social media mom has big plans for herself and her family.
“We always talk about one day just deleting Instagram and going out and traveling for five years or homeschooling the kids,” she shared. “Part of the whole experience to me would be not sharing anything. I share so much that it kind of sounds exciting to delete it all.”