“Why do we get stuck with ‘old maid’ and ‘spinster’ while men get to be ‘bachelors’ and ‘playboys’?”
This is one of my favorite quotes from Sex and the City, spoken by Miranda Hobbes (who’s probably the most sensible person among them) and now more than ever, it speaks volumes for me.
I recently hit the big 5-0 the other day, and with it comes the tsk-tsk of still not being hitched.
Which is fine, I guess. I’ve hurdled through it back in my late 20s, then my 30s, and also my 40s, what’s stopping me now from still being unmarried in my middle age years?
I’ve heard all the gossipy speculations about why I’m still single (by choice, which is something they frequently leave out): that my personality is too strong for any guy to have patience with, that I’m the spoiled youngest child in the family, that I’m too independent, and even the occasional ‘because she’s ugly’ comment.
Well, to have you know, and if there are others out there who can relate: I have dated around in my youth, and I have fallen in love a few times, and I have had my heart broken, so you can rule out the ‘undateable’ comment.
But it’s not even about that, but I will say something about how everyone seemed to be in a rush when they hit 25 or 26 back in my day. I remember I haven’t even saved up enough yet to have a rotation of fancy things, and here were some of my co-workers or old classmates getting hitched then having children in rapid succession. Which is probably why my generation was called the baby boomers. Our bad, millennials.
Then we would inevitably have some form of girl’s night, and they would bemoan their husbands and how some of them haven’t exactly grown out of their young adult ways, and in many cases, this included philandering and developing vices. So, more likely than not, those marriages would end.
It’s not a rush, it’s not a competition, and if you end up not even getting to the altar, then no worries; honestly, there are so many things to take up your time productively.
Mine is currently enjoying my role sitting on my throne as the ‘cool aunt’ of my gaggle of now twenty-something nieces and nephews, who my siblings used to hand over to me if they were at their wits’ end balancing their work life with small children to tend to.
As I am still working, I have the resources to take the kids out every now and then (hence the cool aunt moniker), do some volunteer work for a local pet shelter and at hospitals, and my favorite, to travel.
There is so much out there in the world I’ve not seen yet, and by God while I’m still able I’m going to do my best to see it.
I may not have a family of my own to worry over, but I’ve still got family, and if being an old maid means that my brothers and sisters have someone to turn to when they’re in need, if my nieces and nephews need an adult who isn’t their parent to listen to them without it ending in a screaming match, if people in my community need a ready helping hand, then I’m okay with the title, and wear it proudly.