“Gasp! She’s a fat girl and un-single, how could that be?!” — I bet you’ve heard people say something along this line before — even possibly said it yourself.
While a lot of you may gasp that some people still have it in their heads that slim = attractive, especially in this age of inclusivity and the Internet, and I applaud you for that, fact of the matter is they are still around, and it could be people you love the most who give you the most shit about it.
For some perspective, I am not the Instagram definition of a “big girl,” those who have flat stomachs and luscious hips. I have rolls on rolls, and thighs that make it seem like a chair disappears under me when I sit down, that is why I use the word “fat,” to make you think of someone a lot more ordinary.
However, contrary to what many assume, I do indeed do my best to watch what I eat, try and get a good sweat in everyday, and visit my doctor regularly, who apart from the weight and fat, doesn’t find anything else wrong with me.
And I have the most amazing boyfriend, and a few admirers too. Fat girls do have people sliding in their DMs every now and then.
So sometimes, especially with the older set, I get taken aback when I receive something short of a “Congratulations!” when I answer that I’m in a relationship when asked.
To me, it always sounds like they’re assuming the guy is in a relationship with me because he’s run out of options.
I know deep in my heart that this man loves me for me, and because he has been very open with me about his past relationships, I have seen that he has dated other women that don’t fall into one category.
Bless him that he once said to me “Why should there be categories for human beings?” after I complained to him about an aunt of mine who suggested I drop a few pounds to look a certain way if I “wanted to keep a man around.”
I’m not saying either that being in a relationship is what gives me validation, because that is not a healthy way to go about life, but I am saying that people need to open up their minds that in the world of romance, you like who you like, and they don’t always look a certain “type,” no matter what was drilled into your head in your younger years.
I don’t like the new taglines going around either that “Fat/ Curvy/ Big is the new this or that”, because it can feel very constricting to others. I am of the opinion that no matter where you are on your journey to being the best version of yourself you can possibly be, it should always be on your own terms; and if it happens that somebody wants to come along with you on the ride, then the naysayers can suck it.