Dad Bod Fanny Packs Are Here And Yes, You Read That Right

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Were you always eager to pull a mirror trick on that annoying male neighbor or relative always making comments about your weight but were unmindful about how their stomach was jutting out?

Did you want to have a convenient, hands-free place to store your belongings, and one that could get strange looks but may ward off cat calls?

Does an easy to shed dad bod appeal to you or your significant other?

If you answered ‘Hell yes!’ to any of these questions, you’re in luck, enter The DadBag Fanny Pack.

The hilarious brain child of Albert Pukies, the DadBag fanny pack even comes in six detailed er, styles, created to suit your discerning taste in bellies trying to see the light of day.

The Allen

A bit tanned and tastefully hairy, the Allen speaks of the new father just growing into his new role, what with the exhaustion, food binges when the kid is asleep, and beer nights just starting to become his ‘me time’.

The Derek

 

Inclusivity is important, and the African-American community can have their laughs with The Derek, also the type to tastefully have his Dad belly just beginning to peek out his shirt as he stands on guard by the swings to make sure his kid doesn’t fly off.

The Magnus

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A bit of loose skin is nothing to be ashamed of and the type to rock a Magnus definitely won’t take any shit from anyone. This is the type of Dad belly that’s done things and is unlikely to say no to a rager and a rollicking good time.

Also, doesn’t it conjure up images of pasty, rich white men in tiny Speedos trying to get a tan on their boat somewhere in Europe? Yeah, bask in that opulence.

The Bobby

The untanned and less hairy version of Allen, the Bobby is knee-deep into college and adding more and more to his Freshman 15.

While he likes staying in and ordering delivery, Bobby is quite the romantic: he probably loves fall, big, comfortable hoodies, coffee, and may even harbor a secret love for journaling.

Rock a Bobby to remind you of that kind of guy.

The Wolfgang

Sunburnt and rocking the ‘Yeah I’m very macho and try to be unkempt although I really am very conscious of my appearance, but here’s a few hairs’ look, Wolfgang moved to the suburbs when his third kid was born, but still likes to keep an active lifestyle a few days (hours) a week.

Find him as equally active by the grill poolside as he is throwing around the ol’ pigskin by the park from 3 to 5pm on Sundays.

The Sherman

 

Sad to say, but Sherman is the upstairs apartment recluse probably divorced and in desperate need of one of those ambush makeovers from people who care about him. But the upside to rocking Sherman’s vibe?

You take no shit. You are an angry middle-ager who just wants those dang kids to stop hanging by the fire escape so much, and who can blame you? You’ve been there, done that, and the resulting jadedness and bitterness from experiencing the realities of life sort of gives you a pass to completely forgo appearances because you know what? We’re all going to die in the end.

You’re going to have to hold your breathe a little bit on that order for your S.O. as the DadBag is not yet available, and Pukies said on the site he is “currently looking for production partners.”

Peep the official DadBag Instagram in the meantime for news and updates on the merchandise.

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