There’s hope to become a morning person yet.
If there is one thing that unites most of us, it’s that waking up early in the morning is groan-worthy.
I mean, just the thought is already making me tired. But if we were to believe the glamorous, dewy, beautifully manicured women (and men!) over at Into The Gloss, then they might just make you change your mind about being a morning person.
Writer Or Gotham details the steps he’s taken to cop eight hours of sleep, and how he became a morning person in the process:
“It took me nearly three decades to realize it wasn’t hiding from me, but rather I was evading it,” he starts.
Gotham said it started with the usual evening routine of a quick dinner, which eventually turned into TV time, which then led him to turn to his social media.
“Feeling myself hit my usual 8PM wall, I briefly wondered: Why am I trying to stay up? This isn’t Nightmare on Elm Street. Stumped, I just decided to call it a night. Thirty minutes later I was out cold.”
Then he quickly unlocked a previously closed door to his psyche.
“The next morning my eyes opened before my alarm. I felt great. Spry, even. I felt the way Michelle Obama’s arms look. I glanced at the clock—4:30 AM. A full eight hours of sleep!”
The rest of his day went on completely well, according to him. He arrived at the office “fully awake, instead of my usual comatose,” and was productive all throughout.
“I acclimated quickly to this routine thanks to my vitamin B12 deficiency, and occasionally, ZzzQuil” he said, but he noticed the changes to his outlook on every otherwise blah work day.
“My average mood ring color has shifted from pâté beige to a vibrant tomato. I keep myself busy with toils I usually had too little zeal to tackle at the end of the day. The tasks run the gamut from corporeal (running outdoors, doing crunches) to culinary (boiling eggs by the dozen, comparing air fryers on Amazon) or hygienic (full body exfoliating, organizing my underwear drawer by form, factor, and color). Every day feels like a weekend,” Gotham hilariously details.
While he’s all praises about embracing this newfound zeal for settling in early and waking up early, he admits there were ‘disadvantages.’
“I missed the Oscars, for one. Sometimes I miss so many of my friends’ texts that it feels like we’re Keanu and Sandra in The Lake House. Also, no one believes me. Early in my experiment, I woke up to a friend’s text from the night before and replied promptly upon waking. He didn’t respond but rather decided to broach the subject in person two weeks later.”
“You responded to my text at 4 in the morning… were you just getting home?” Gotham narrates,
“No, I’m doing this new thing where I go to bed early and wake up around then.”
We’ll take Support for $200, maybe?
But jokes aside, Gotham espouses on the necessary changes in lifestyle that circumstances may require, no matter how much we think it may suck.
“Look—I get it—an 8PM bedtime has just a passing acquaintance with sustainability. If, at some point, I get a social life or a dog, I’ll need to reassess. Until then, I’ll think of it like colon hydrotherapy, drinking dirty martinis, and FaceTiming my mom—is it likely I’ll get to do it every day? No. Do I look forward to the next time I get to? Rabidly.”